Sadly I have found myself in that dark place once again. A place I had worked so hard to leave just a few years past. In just a few short months I have gone from being the happiest I'd ever been, to the depth of despair. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, because I don't know for certain that anyone is reading this blog. At any rate, I seem to plod along through each day searching for both my purpose, and things to be grateful for. I know full well the many things and people to be thankful for. As for my purpose it escapes me yet. My whole life, the one dream I've had, that has meant so much, has been that I might be someone's special companion, someone's mom, someone's partner to grow old with. As more than half my life has passed me by, my dreams too, escape me. Oh, I had given up on being a mom to anything other than cats and dogs a long time ago. Sometimes I weep for not having a child of my own, but I've accepted that now. But to live so long without the comfort, reassurance, love and all that goes along with "good" relationships, it's been a long hard way. I think one special person comes along during a lifetime, someone you connect with on all levels. I have had two such people come through my life, one has been unobtainable, the other just cast me off only a month ago.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Drowning in a river, drowning in a river of tears ~ Eric Clapton
Sadly I have found myself in that dark place once again. A place I had worked so hard to leave just a few years past. In just a few short months I have gone from being the happiest I'd ever been, to the depth of despair. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, because I don't know for certain that anyone is reading this blog. At any rate, I seem to plod along through each day searching for both my purpose, and things to be grateful for. I know full well the many things and people to be thankful for. As for my purpose it escapes me yet. My whole life, the one dream I've had, that has meant so much, has been that I might be someone's special companion, someone's mom, someone's partner to grow old with. As more than half my life has passed me by, my dreams too, escape me. Oh, I had given up on being a mom to anything other than cats and dogs a long time ago. Sometimes I weep for not having a child of my own, but I've accepted that now. But to live so long without the comfort, reassurance, love and all that goes along with "good" relationships, it's been a long hard way. I think one special person comes along during a lifetime, someone you connect with on all levels. I have had two such people come through my life, one has been unobtainable, the other just cast me off only a month ago.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Fine Finish to an Early Spring Day
Despite the forecast for rain, the day remained dry. However, my day started out with a cold shower! My ancient water heater finally gave up the ghost. I'm wondering if this is payback, for buying my awesome new camera. My motorcycle has been stuck in the mud outside the shed, for two days now. I had left it out one night. The next day, the motorcycle sunk up to the rims. I couldn't budge it. So my sister and family came up today to help, easily pushing the bike back into the shed.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Morning Walk with Evvy
Evvy and I went for an early morning walk last Friday. We hadn't really ventured far over the winter. So I drove up over the Whipple Hill Rd to see what was new. I took my fabulous new Nikon D3000 camera. A purchase I surely can't afford, but gave to myself as a gift for an hellacious couple or three weeks prior. I looked for artistic compositions in everything. Evvy was content to run around smelling the spring time smells. To her it must have been like being a kid in a candy store. I could hear Tom Turkeys gobbling in the distance. I called to them, but my hen call seems to have been more of a strangled cat sound. Needless to say, no Turkeys came our way.
We continued down the old Rapids Road, now just accessible by snowmobiles, ATV and four wheel drives. Only the slightest bit of snow and ice remain. Evvy took full advantage of any melting snow she could find. She loves to roll and slide herself along the snow like an Otter.
Pretty funny actually.
There is a stream that runs from Whipple Hill down to Rapids Rd. Just past the sand pit entrance, I followed the stream back up hill. There is what appears to be an old dam. With the spring run-off, a beautiful waterfall had been created over the stones. I got some great close-ups of moss, and evergreen ferns. I must have taken close to 50 photos. I couldn't wait to return home and check the pictures out on my computer.
After Evvy had sufficiently smelled the smells, chased chipmunks, and eat nasty things, she headed for the truck. I heard Red-Winged Blackbirds, and now I am sure Spring has sprung.
I have started seeds of Tomatoes, Burpless cucumbers, Basil, Rosemary, Lemon balm, and a flower I don't remember the name of. My little seedlings are already sprouted, and will soon have to be transplanted to pea pots. That is if the cats don't eat them, I may actually have some good plants to put out after last frost.
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
Snowmobiling? Go south

Thursday, January 14, 2010
Bayport Inn
The place is owned by a local doctor!
Sure there are the usual Harleys, but there is also an awesome view of the marshes, and of course the bar cats. This is but one of two we saw. We sat on the back deck in glorious warm sunshine! The art here is different, a stiff fisherman in his rowboat and "Neverude" outboard. There is a small channel just below the deck. The tide was out so we could see small crabs scurrying around on the mud. The wading birds were everywhere, Great Blue Heron, Great Egret, Snowy Egrets, Little Blue, and Cattle Egrets scouring the marsh for their lunch.
I enjoyed a yummy fish sandwich, with fries of course. Then on to the Bayport fishing pier where we watched the Skimmers, and Royal Terns
argue over a Needle Fish. I caught the skimmer as he was just taking off. Out by the bay, it was much cooler even in full sun. Nevertheless, beautiful to take in on the last day of my vacation.
Tomorrow I'm back to dial-up, freezing cold & ice, and work. That is the cruel reality of the return to New Hampshire. But I will return to the sunny south again and again.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Armadillos & Sandhill Cranes
I did get to Starkey Park on my bike this afternoon. I was fortunate to have a deer walk across the bike path, ever so slowly. The whitetails are much smaller here. The deer I saw today was probably no more than sixty pounds, but beautiful nonetheless. Then I saw a Curulean Warbler! What a brilliant sight he was, in his blue-green finery. I saw several other warblers but couldn't get close enough to I.D. Many, many Armadillos. I took this short clip of a larger Armadillo.
The temperature was in the sixties at the start of my ride, but in the fifties on my return. I don't know if my skin is sunburned, wind-burned, or frostbit! I was in shorts the entire time.
On the ride back I saw a man entering the bike path from a nearby parking lot. He had a small Cairn Terrier with him on a leash. The little dog had a choke collar on. I witnessed this man swing the dog by the neck like a rag doll. The dog swung out ahead of the man, then to the ground. The man then noticed me, and pretended to give a rat's ass about the dog. I was livid. The man's girlfriend then emerged, and I wondered if she had any idea what a creep her boyfriend was. I wanted to turn around and tell her, but I restrained myself.
I collected my thoughts and continued along my way. As I got closer to the park entrance I found a pair of Sandhill Cranes relaxing. One was resting on its heels! Quite amusing really.
It's Getting Warmer
Now for the bad news many animals have died this week due to the continued cold. Sea Turtles, Manatees, and thousands of fish have washed up on local shores. Strawberry and Kumquat crops have been decimated. A very sad state of affairs here in Florida.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Here are the Red-Shouldered Hawks
Here are the pair of hawks I mentioned in the earlier post for today. Today turned out to be just a bit warmer, into the 50's. I went to the Museum of Science and Industry in Tampa. A great place to bring kids, or to just be a kid at heart. Lots of hands-on stuff to do. There are also some great films shown in the Imax theaters at MOSI. Tomorrow should be even warmer, so I'm hoping to get out to JB Starkey park to explore the natural environment there.
It feels like Winter in Florida
Friday, November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving Moose
Yesterday I was completely blessed to see a young bull moose like this one(courtesy of vividlight.com. I wouldn't have known he was standing outside my kitchen door, except Evvy was going out of her mind. Evvy saw, or heard, or smelled the moose, then went nuts.....more so than usual. So, I looked out my bedroom window and down to the small space between the house and my shed. There he was. I was amazed. He stood there, presumably listening to Evvy barking next to me. After pausing, he ambled down my driveway, and into the road.And what is with moose standing in the road? It's like they have a death wish. Anyway, there was no traffic at the moment. I attempted to take a picture of him from my livingroom window. But the flash on my camera was "on". The flash reflected back, at me. I haven't uploaded the photo yet. I suspect the picture is less than noteworthy. In any case, the moose finally jumped the short stone wall across the road. He walked right up the steeped part of the hill, and into the fog. One other lucky person saw the moose. A lone vehicle eastbound on the road stopped to watch. I thought, I am so thankful to continue having such great wildlife sightings lately.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Three Bear Afternoon
Monday, November 02, 2009
Is This Your Cat?


This beautiful cat has been living under my shed for the last several days. She rarely if ever comes out. I first saw her while walking on Derry Hill Rd. with Evvy. The next thing I know, she's under my shed. I live a short walk from Derry Hill, but I have no idea why she chose my shed, over more plush accomodations at my neighbor's hay barn. After days of feeding her, and listening to her try her best to be ferocious(I rarely buy this attitude from cats). She approached a bowl of food, half purring, half yowling. It was kind of comical actually. Today, she finally allowed me to pat her, purring loudly. Still she won't venture more than a couple feet from the shed. ANY strange noise sends her back under.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Halloween Hike
How scary is this! This is the exact kind of tick I keep finding on me, and Evvy. As I looked up info on the tick, I found that some call it a "dog tick", some call it a "deer tick". No matter really, any tick can carry diseases. Today only one tick on me, one on Evvy. We drove over to a Nature Conservancy trail off of Rte. 63, not far from here. At the trailhead there are a couple of cellar holes, with a brook running through the site. The trail heads uphill, some steep terrain on this trail. Then we took a trail called "Cave Loop" but I never did see any caves, not even a boulder cave. There was an imposing cliff, and small boulder field. All in all though, just a good workout with sounds of gun fire off to the west. It is hunting season after all. What I did find troubling is this. Someone had defecated off the trail. If you know dogs, then you know what Evvy did. The smell is unmistakable. When we returned to the trailhead, I left a note at the kiosk. There was a sign-in sheet with space for comments. I reminded people to dig a hole and bury their excrement. There's barely anything more gross than riding in a small truck cab with a panting dog who has just eaten human poop.Thursday, October 29, 2009
Mt Gilboa


I think this has been the worst year yet for tick infestations. Every single time I've been out with Evvy, ticks have found us. I check my pant legs often while I'm walking. The other day, I removed no less than six ticks from my pant legs at various points in the walk. Today I found two on me, and two on Evvy when we returned from our walk. I am careful to avoid tall grass, and especially goldenrod plants that hang over the trail. Ticks seem to love those plants.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Indian Summer?

Hard tellin. We didn't have much of a summer, and fall has been unseasonably cold. But today, at 60 degrees, it was spectacular, and perfect for a mountain bike ride. I haven't been out for a ride in quite a while, so I take less risks, and go much slower down the hills. Normally, I would just sail down those wooded paths. Now the leaves have covered rocks, and roots, so it becomes more precarious. Maybe it's that I'm getting older and the thought of injury is daunting.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Birthday Hike


Sunday was my sister Kim's birthday. She and I are 47 years old for three weeks....Irish Twins.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
September is Leaving


At long last I got a chance to take a long walk through fields and woods near my house. I have been so busy learning how to be a Clinical Medical Assistant, I've scarcely had time for anything else. But this morning, Evvy and I set out on our four mile loop which takes us up over Sheep Hill, around it's western side and back to County Rd. via Galloways cornfields. The hunters were out in their tree stands. I thought if they were waiting for deer, they'd wait quite a while. I've seen only one set of deer tracks in that area. On the other hand, if the hunter was looking for Turkey's he'd be in luck. The Turkeys were/are there, in small number. Deer have much to feast on this year with a bumper crop of acorns, and apples. So they can go wherever they want, whenever they want. It might make them harder to find.
Saturday, September 05, 2009
Perfect Sunset/Moonrise



Last night a bunch of us hiked up Pitcher Mt. with great expectation of both a beautiful sunset, and awesome full Corn Moon. We were not disappointed. In fact both were spectacular, and there were some professional photographers up there as well, catching the views. At one point, I stood at the top of the mountain with the Moon to my left, and the Sun to my right. They appeared to be at the same height in the sky. It was as though you could draw a straight line from one to the other. Off in the distance below we could see a large flock of Turkeys in a field. There was some debate whether we were seeing a herd of deer, or turkeys. Of course the deer hunters in the crowd believed the dark spots moving in the field were deer. It was my sister who corrected us, and said that in fact it was a flock of turkeys - killjoy!
Friday, September 04, 2009
Fall Begins


I've been busy getting ready for winter around here. Replacing clapboards, scraping and painting the house. I've recaulked the shower, fixed ceiling tiles, and building a dog house for Evvy. The mornings have become more crisp which is refreshing. Still I have hoped for a longer summer. The next several days promise to be great for Labor Day weekend, so I'll make the most of it.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Summer....finally
I went to the Walpole transfer station the other day. Always looking for a bargain! The "reuse" center is great for finding replacement coffee carafes for the coffee machine. Or a thermos! But the prize this day was a weathered wooden bench frame, and a matching chair. They looked as though they had been next to the ocean, a nice shade of gray. I left the chair, but took the bench home and revitalized it. I think it turned out pretty well. I had to add a support for the middle of the seat, then the seat and back. All that is left to do is stain the new wood gray, to match the weathered parts. The bench will be perfect for my back porch, or the lake.